Restless (Fractured Farrells: A Damaged Billionaire Series, #4) Read online

  But Cameron didn’t give him the satisfaction of a fight. Instead, he kept his poker face on. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. If you continue to berate me like this in my office, I’ll have no choice but to call security.”

  Alex knew it was a bluff. There was no way Cameron would call the cops on a Farrell. Alex leaned in closer over the desk, setting both of his palms on the polished wood.

  “This is a warning,” said Alex. “This is your only warning. You do anything else that makes my wife uncomfortable, even if you accidentally make her uncomfortable, I will destroy you. I will go after your business, I will go after your home, I will go to your friends, and once you have nothing left, then I will go after you personally. If you manage to survive, the life you have will be worthless.”

  “Wi—wife?”

  Alex blinked. That was telling in a scary way. All those threats, and the only part that Cameron cared about was that Ashley was going to be married.

  “Wife. Ashley isn’t a defenseless girl alone in the world who you can pick on and torture for your own amusement. She’s my wife. She’s a Farrell. She has my family, and most importantly, she has me. I expect you to remember that the next time you decide to play one of your games.”

  Alex pushed away from the desk to turn around without looking back. He could only hope that Cameron would take his advice and stay away.

  Because if he didn’t, Alex would sure as hell enjoy making good on those threats.

  Ashley enlarged the article on Alex’s laptop screen so she could make sure she wasn’t misreading anything. Nope. Alex was right. Tate Gallagher was caught up in a world of trouble. From insider trading to conspiracy to commit murder, the FBI had a whole list of charges against him.

  Assuming they could find him, of course. Guys like that had enough money stashed away to get to any country he wanted that had lenient extradition policies. Considering that instead of immediately running, he had gone to the Connecticut house to make thinly veiled threats against her and Alex, she had a feeling he wasn’t about to hop on his private jet any time soon.

  Which made her happy Alex had decided she should come back to the city with him. As much as she liked the calm and serene beach house, it was so secluded. And Jones, as good as he was at being a butler, was no bodyguard. Now in the penthouse suite at a Farrell-owned apartment building, there was safety in numbers. There were numerous doormen and other staff that any questionable people had to get through in order to get to the penthouse. On top of that, they would need a key to get into the apartment. Alex had the code changed on the keycards needed to enter the apartment so they were one hundred percent certain that at this moment there were only two keys that would allow the elevator to go to the top floor. One that Alex had and one he’d given to her.

  It was strange to be gone from the Connecticut house. Even though she’d only been there for a week, it was familiar territory to her. She knew she wouldn’t be interrupted and knew how to handle Alex there. She almost felt as though she were in enemy territory now. It was a stupid feeling. Alex wasn’t her enemy. If anything, he was her closest ally.

  But she couldn’t help the unease of knowing that she needed him on her side. He could still change his mind at any moment, and if he did, she would be left in the dirt. It was horrible to like someone but know that she was at his beck and call. It was only by luck that Alex turned out as nice as he did.

  Another flash of guilt spread through her. She didn’t deserve Alex. He needed a woman who would actually love him. Who would want to be with him. He deserved something true and honest. Not someone using him to fix her own mess of a life.

  Ashley squeezed her eyes shut and opened them again, forcing the doubts to fall back. It didn’t matter. She’d be his wife, and she’d be the best damn wife he could hope for. She would have closets stocked with sexy lingerie; she would go to every single one of his stupid work parties and she’d be charming as hell to all of his investors, coworkers, and employees; she’d be at his beck and call any time he needed her in the bedroom.

  Though that last one might be more for her than him. Heat rushed to her cheeks, and she remembered that last night at the Connecticut house when he carried her up the stairs and laid her on the bed. God, it was so easy to forget what this was. The lines between like and lust and need and love blurred. Maybe that was a good thing. Maybe if she thought she loved him, the guilt would go away. Maybe if he thought he loved her, he would forget that he wasn’t marrying her because he wanted to, but because she begged him to.

  Ashley pushed away from the laptop and stood. She needed to do something to take her mind off Alex. Instead, she walked around the apartment. Most places in New York would be too small to walk more than a few feet before running into a wall, but not Alex’s apartment. The private elevator opened into the family room, but because of the open floor plan, it seemed to open to the entire apartment. Floor-to-ceiling windows overlooked a private balcony. The kitchen was stocked with appliances Ashley didn’t even know existed as well as a fully stocked wet bar that she had a feeling Alex would be cracking into sooner rather than later. He’d mentioned that there were four bedrooms upstairs, but she hadn’t gone up there yet.

  It seemed too personal for her to look at on her own. She didn’t want to assume that she’d be sleeping in the same bedroom as Alex, and she didn’t want to insult him by putting her items in a bedroom that wasn’t his. As soon as they’d reached the apartment, he had run off. He said he wanted to get the application for the license so they could get a judge’s signature as soon as possible, but she had a feeling he was doing more.

  Considering his reaction when she’d shown him the pictures, she’d be surprised if he wasn’t doing something she wouldn’t approve of. She shuddered at the memory of the vulgar things Alex had said after she’d shown him the pictures. She didn’t know what he was going to do. She didn’t want to know, in all honesty. She would like to pretend the whole thing never happened.

  Was he talking to Geoff? Was he warning him away? She didn’t know whether she wanted that. Well yes, she wanted Geoff to stay away, but she hated dragging Alex any further into this mess than he already was. Would Geoff listen to him? Or would he get even angrier and lash out more?

  But Ashley supposed that was the point. Alex was a Farrell. What could Geoff do to him, even if he wanted to?

  Ashley finished a lap around the family room and kitchen and then went out to the balcony. The wind up here was fierce, but it gave her something to focus on besides her growing anxiety.

  She heard the gentle whooshing of the balcony doors opening, and she knew she wasn’t alone anymore. She turned to see Alex slipping out of the suit jacket and undoing the cuffs of his shirt. He looked tired and edgy. Not a great combination, but she could relate at the moment.

  “Hey there,” he said as he approached.

  “Hey yourself.” She leaned against the glass railing. “Have you heard anything about Tate Gallagher?”

  “Nothing new. So our licenses are being rush processed now. We should have a physical document for a judge to sign by tomorrow.”

  It always amazed her how quickly the Farrells could get things done, but she wouldn’t complain this time if it worked in her favor. “So this time tomorrow we’ll be official?”

  “This time tomorrow we’ll be man and wife,” he confirmed.

  He didn’t seem overjoyed at the prospect, and Ashley tried to think of something to make this better. “We should do something.”

  “What?”

  “Do something. It’s our last night of freedom, right? So we should be able to go have our bachelor and bachelorette parties. One last night on the town.”

  Alex’s features hardened. “Are you telling me I should go get laid one last time?”

  Ashley let out a laugh. “No! Get your mind out of the gutter. I just feel like we’re not having a big wedding or anything. Why can’t we have fun with this? Make the most out of what we have? Now what do you like
to do in the city for fun?”

  Alex rubbed at his temples and ran his hand through his hair, leaving it sticking out and spiky.

  He did look cute when he was disheveled.

  “Ashley, I don’t have fun.”

  “Good.”

  “Good?”

  “Yes. Now I can teach you how to have fun.”

  Alex hated the word. Fun. It seemed like every time he went out with someone who wanted to have a good time, it was the opposite of where he wanted to be. Strip clubs and bars weren’t exactly his idea of relaxing.

  “So what did you have in mind?”

  Ashley shrugged. “This isn’t about me. You’re already doing enough for me. So close your eyes and think of the one place you would go if you didn’t have any other obligations to worry about. One last night of freedom.”

  Alex closed his eyes and opened them just as quickly. “This is stupid.”

  “It’s not stupid. Just think.”

  “Where do you go to celebrate your freedom then?” If she was going to make him do this, she sure as hell was going to help.

  “You’re not going to like my answer.”

  “Try me.”

  “I go into the ocean.”

  She was right. He didn’t like that. He still had nightmares about the first time he pulled her out of the water, no matter how safe she claimed to be. “I don’t do fun things, Ashley. I like to be alone. I spend all day talking to people and coordinating shit. To me, a fun time is doing nothing.”

  “Why didn’t you just say that? Let’s do nothing. I can make you dinner and I’ll stay out of your hair all night.”

  She looked up at him with her impossibly big eyes, and Alex couldn’t help but feel like an ass. She was trying to make this special and he was being a grouch. He’d never had to worry about making anyone else happy before. One more thing he’d have to adjust to.

  “No. I don’t want you to make me dinner. You’re right. We should do something.”

  She was already shaking her head. “I don’t want you to think that—”

  He didn’t let her finish and was already going back inside. “I’ll change clothes and we can leave in ten.” When he reached the stairs, he noticed that her suitcase was sitting there still. She hadn’t unpacked. Strange, considering she’d been there for a few hours now. Well, it was time for her to get settled. He picked up her bag and carried it up the metal spiral staircase and into the master bedroom.

  The bedroom was a good size, but it would be strange to share it. He’d had his share of women over the years. Even had a few he thought might end up sticking around.

  But it was different now that he knew this was it. That this was going to be Ashley’s room. That she’d wake up next to him and use the same shower.

  The corner of his mouth curled at the thought. Hell, he didn’t want to celebrate his last night of freedom. He just wanted to go ahead and finalize the damn thing already. Because until she actually signed that little piece of paper, she could still back out, and he didn’t think he would be able to survive that.

  After exchanging his work slacks for dark-wash jeans and changing shirts, he headed back downstairs. Ashley hadn’t changed, but she didn’t need to. Alex admitted that he’d probably think she’d look great no matter what she was wearing, but she was currently in short shorts and a bohemian/hippie/something shirt that seemed to be on trend for who knew what reason.

  But he couldn’t deny that she wore it well.

  “Ready?” he asked.

  She nodded as they both walked to the elevator. “So where are we going?”

  The elevator doors closed and they started the descent to the lobby. “I have no idea,” said Alex.

  She looked at him and the corner of her mouth hooked up. “What?”

  He shrugged. “We’ll just go and see where the night takes us. Spontaneity is sexy, right?”

  “Everything you do is sexy,” she said softly.

  Well, fuck. Now he wanted to go right back up to the apartment with her. Instead, he settled on reaching down and holding her hand. Because he was allowed to do that now. He was allowed to hold hands and be casual.

  It was already well past sunset, and most places besides restaurants and bars would be closed, which put a damper on his spontaneity. But he kept his grip on her hand and turned right on a whim. The sidewalks weren’t as crowded as they were during the height of the day, though they were by no means alone.

  Alex didn’t have the romanticized view of the city that a lot of people did. It was crowded, hard to get around, and if you caught the wind wrong, it could be smelly as hell. But he didn’t mind those annoyances as much now that Ashley was with him.

  He especially didn’t mind bouncing around the crowds on the sidewalk. Because every single person he passed saw him holding Ashley’s hand, and a rush of sick joy shot through him each time he saw some poor bastard turn his head to look at her.

  “So,” she finally said, breaking the silence between them. “How have you been?”

  “Uhh...okay?”

  “I just realized that in all this excitement, I never really talked to you. I know things must’ve been hard with Walter and everything.”

  “You know Walter and I were never close.”

  “That doesn’t mean it was easy to deal with his death. Nadia and I had our issues but—”

  “You always loved your mom,” said Alex. Even though they had their rocky moments, he’d always known there was some sort of foundation built on love between her and Nadia.

  The same couldn’t be said for him and Walter.

  “I’m doing okay,” he finally said to answer her question.

  She shook her head. “No. That tells me nothing. Come on, Alex. You don’t have to bullshit me. You can say you don’t want to talk about it or you can give me details. Up to you.”

  They reached an intersection that turned to “walk” as they approached. Looking for a stray car that chose to ignore pedestrian laws gave him an excuse to not answer her right away.

  “I’m okay,” he said again. “Not bad. Not great. Robert and Logan both have serious girlfriends apparently, however the hell that happened. I have a sister I never knew about and somehow she shacked up with one of Walter’s favorite employees.”

  “Do you feel left behind?”

  No. That wasn’t it. “It’s like... It’s like everything is falling apart. Once Walter died, things were supposed to be different. We were supposed to come together as a family. But now Robert is talking about moving to Hawaii, and Jean is going to start popping out kids for Colin fucking Carter, and Nathan is doing whatever the hell it is that Nathan does.”

  Ashley squeezed his hand tighter. “You still have Logan, right?”

  “I’ve barely said two words to Logan in the past ten years. And I’m happy that he and Julie seem to be happy. I really am. But I thought that once he got out of prison, once I got him out of prison, that he’d spend more time on family things. Now he has...distractions.”

  Ashley nodded; he could feel her grip on his hand loosening, but he didn’t let her go.

  “Is that what you think I’m going to do? Distract you?”

  “It would be stupid not to think of that.”

  Ashley once again started to pull away, but he didn’t let her. “No. Distractions aren’t always a bad thing.” He stopped walking and turned to face her, doing a quick glance out of his peripheral to make sure they weren’t standing in anyone’s immediate way. “Ashley, I want to be distracted. I want to be distracted by you.”

  A tentative smile crossed her lips. “Good. I hate that I put you in this position.”

  “I don’t do things I don’t want to do.”

  “You’re a liar. You do things you don’t want to do all the time. Because underneath all the Farrell hate and pressure, you’re a good guy.”

  He was glad she thought that, but he couldn’t help but think that he’d duped her. That once she found out who he really was, she was goin
g to go running for the hills. “You’re sure about this?”

  “One hundred percent,” she said.

  “Good. Because once you say ‘I do,’ there’s no turning back.”

  The spontaneous night out wasn’t what Ashley would call a date. It wasn’t even what she’d call a night out on the town, even though they were literally on the town. They walked around for hours, talking. Alex told her about his time finishing school and as he struggled to find his place at Farrell Enterprises between Walter, who was king of the world in his deluded mind, and Robert, Walter’s second-in-command.

  And then he listened to her talk. She talked about Robin, Nadia’s husband after Walter, and all the fun times. Then came the heartbreak of finding someone to complete the family only to have him ripped away from them prematurely.

  That’s what started the destructive cycle that led to Geoff and, eventually, Nadia’s death. It hadn’t been a purposeful overdose, but at that point in her life, she was on so many medications from so many different doctors. She mixed a few of the wrong ones with too many glasses of chardonnay, and one night she’d never woken up.

  Ashley liked to think that it was a peaceful death. Maybe now Nadia was back together with Robin, living the life they always wanted to live.

  By the time she walked back into the apartment with Alex, she couldn’t help but feel things were different. It was as though there was a new understanding between them. As if she wasn’t just some stranger who showed up on his doorstep, but they actually knew each other.

  So when the elevator doors slid shut, and she turned to find him right next to her, she didn’t hesitate to lean forward and kiss him. It didn’t feel like an act. It didn’t feel like two people pretending to like each other. Natural. Like something her body needed her to do.

  The kiss started out innocent enough. The gentle meeting of lips. Soon, it became something more. His hands that had been resting at her back started to roam intensely. The gentle probing of his tongue became more demanding.